Punting the Pundits

Never fear, Shelby is here to report on the latest controversy in the blogsphere. No, not Hobo Stranglers, but just as bad! It's the National Anthem, but in Spanish! Popularized as bad by bloggers such as Michelle Malkin and some people who don't matter, this message of Latino inclusion is being warped at a message of Aztlan, because if Mexico reincorperated California they'd still use the National Anthem or something. The logic is more frayed than my favorite pair of courderoys.

To find out what translation problems would happen, we ran the lyrics to the national anthem into Babelfish, converted to Spanish, and then translated back into English. This is the result:

Opinion of Or, can you see, by the early light of the dawn,
what so proud we hail’d in flashing last of the twilight?
Of whom ample rays and shining stars, thro ‘ the dangerous fight,
Óer the embankments watch’d, so galantemente we flowed?
And the red fulgor of the rockets, the pumps that exploded in air,
gave thro of the test ‘ the night that our flag still was there.
Opinion of Or, that flag still stars-star-spangled shakes
Óer the Earth of free and the home of the brave one?

How does this honor America? And why do the Mexicans care about the Opinion of Or? Who or what is Or? Or is a medieval Crimean Tatar name for the northern region of Crimea currently known as Perekop Isthmus. Yes, the Mexicans care more about the Opinion of a region of Crimea more than that of American Americans! Also, since as of 2006 the area was a focus for ongoing territorial and sovereignty disputes between Ukraine and Russia relating to Crimea, the Mexicans have surreptitiously hijacked the National Anthem into the territorial debate of two former Soviet Republics!

I reran it a few more times.

The light rapide/écrit or, which praise type in such a way where you these is?
Last hail ‘ D for it blinks itself?,
up to the opinion-morning-grey which you see, can he the thing make?
More easily jet in satisfying kind and thro galantemente star, shines watch to ‘ D of the dangerous fight and the erdaufschuettung more Óer, therefore we also we run are high.
And as for fulgor, where the rocket and the pump, which explode with air it are red,
have our flags still the throne eight of the thing attempt given, which are there.
Still or the vibration more Óer of flags the earth of the liberty and the star of house
stars courageously insert these the opinion and are high.

"Stars courageously insert these the opinion and are high"? Is this now about DRUGS? How dare they.

The answer is simple: The Star Spangled Banner should never be allowed to be translated to other languages, as all of those languages are crazy crazy fools.