Tag Archives: Crooks and Liars

Of Governors and Google Bombs

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Geez, we’ve only been around for, what, like a month now? Looks like we’re starting to get a bit popular judging by the web traffic:

Right on! We like when people like us! I can only imagine our success has been due to the combination of a few things. First, we’ve gotten bigger! Yup, added a whole bunch of new writers and everything. It’s kind of become necessary what with all the crazy that’s going around these days. And there’s crazy yet this year that’s still to come (can someone say Town Hall season 2010? In an election year?) but we’re happy to see our staff growing by the day and I’m sure you the reader will be just as happy with them as we move forward. Warning: crazy amounts of content are imminent.

Secondly, lots of people have been talking about us! Crooks and Liars.com has been known to mention Politisink.com from time to time and celebrity voice talent D.C. Douglas, who we posted about last month and gained our first official comment from, are just a few of the places we’ve seen visitors from over the last couple of weeks. We even have our first official nemesis, oh and some site called SomethingAwful Forums comes here a lot too, but how many month-old websites can say they’ve already made enemies? Don’t those kinds of hate/hate relationships take months and years to develop, simmer, and boil-over properly? Frankly, we are flattered.

The third factor might not be so apparent, but boy does it drive our web-traffic crazy. So go to Google.com and search for “nightingale for governor 2010”. Guess whose in the top 50 results for that search term baby. Yeah that’s right girl, Politisink.com. Chelene Nightingale is one of our many fantastic candidates for Governor this year in CA (running with the Liberty Party no less) and a person who Tars Tarkas mentioned in this article a few weeks ago (the link that people are following this site to from that Google results page).

Now, it’s very unlikely that about 20 individual AOL users are suddenly (and simultaneously!) become interested in searching Google for the term “nightingale for governor 2010” every night for the past month, usually around 1AM, and end up browsing through every Google result for about 10 pages till they click through to our fine website and it shows up in the web traffic, but hey they’re building our PageRank so thanks guys!

In reality, we’re being “Google bombed”, but it’s still a bit unclear as to what’s really going on here. Google Bombing is quick and painless, usually involving a rotating bunch of computers on different IP addresses searching for a generic term that some impressionable voter might Google one day, and click through those results on specific article or websites, usually positive ones, to artificially build the Google PageRank for those websites. As a result those really flattering articles get bumped to the top of the search pile and everyone reads why Chelene Nightingale is such a great lady instead of questioning why the Liberty Party thinks they can win a Governor’s election in the state of California this year.

That is, however, if it is the Nightingale campaign that’s one setting off the Google Bomb every night. The article Tars wrote really doesn’t discuss Nightingale, it more or less just mentions her name and the phrase “for governor” and the number 2010 in there at some point. Maybe instead this is the Meg Whitman campaign Google Bombing for the purpose of promoting the neutral and nasty results over the positive ones from the search term “nightingale for governor 2010”. Whitman did used to run eBay (some understanding of internet business and search engines might be necessary to be CEO that company) and has spent $60 million so far on her campaign (way more dough than the Liberty Party could ever hope to raise, sorry guys). $60 million leaves a lot of play around room for a fun Google-based search term result assault. You can never rule out the rich and well-to-do with things like this.

Maybe Rand Paul is even behind it for some nefarious reason or another. We might never know. Point is, we’re about to get a whole lot more popular for the search term “nightingale for governor 2010” on Google, so just you wait world!

Page 3 here we come!

Caleb Howe is a cancer.

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We’ve all met that guy. Maybe he went to your high school, sat next to you on an airplane that one time, has a nationally syndicated talk-radio and television show, or even attended one of those Tea Party protest and ended spouting off with his misspelled protest sign while someone interviewed him for a video you saw on YouTube. This type of individual is what I like to refer to as the “taint hair” of society.

“Taint hairs” serve no purpose in life but to irritate and annoy the whole of society. Their shit-eating grin of an attitude and toxic personalities, while giving the individual mysterious origins (probably the product of sexual abuse, universal rejection throughout their existance, or the deep-seeded idea that their lives are worthless unless they’re making other people miserable), make their infected rash of “character” stand out like the sore polyp on the asshole of the country. Caleb Howe is exactly this kind of asshole infection.

That episode of South Park, the clip in particular, put perfectly into words that attitude of why you can let guys like Caleb Howe or Eric Cartman, kids of a similar mind who believe they can never be taken down a notch since they’re always willing to shamelessly up the ante with their words (no matter how awful or retarded those words make them sound) when there’s no real or immediate perceived threat to them (it’s the internet after all!). The more defenseless, disabled, or weak the target is the better for them. People like that will not let up with their demeanor, no matter what’s said to them or who calls them out on their clear and universally repugnant behavior. What’s left to do when you’ve exhausted every other ration option you know of to satisfy their hunger for attention? You can’t just give up or forget about the problem and hope things will get better.

Instead physical action needs to be taken against them, to have them be beaten into a pulp, to be physically incapacitated, to be destroyed in order to understand that what they do and say to others in life has actual repercussions in the civilized world, where civilized people with even the remotest bit of compassion will stand against the entirety of everything they take pride in and build their repulsive characters on. How else can a disease change itself unless you put every ounce of effort into eradicating it?

And we’re not talking about a horrible and ruthless condition such as cancer here. Caleb Howe is like polio. He is god-awful scourge on the world, a blight of intelligence and moral character in every sense of the word, but with the right people working against him, attacking every vector of his words and callous opinion, he can eventually be eradicated from the face of the world. People will throw parades, celebrate across the globe, and cheer in unison when a personality like Caleb Howe’s is eliminated from the face of the earth. After all, Caleb Howe and his ilk are the weakest kind of disease, a condition that didn’t even deserve to exist, a condition that can instantaneously be stopped with the proper treatment and right attitude, due to how inherently weak and void of a backbone the core of the virus is.

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