Obama Killed Seal Team 6 – FreeRepublic.com

Oh, you knew this crap was coming. Up first is a conspiracy theory so nice, the guy posted it 22 times! Thrill as Obama invents Seal Team 6 out of midair, and then murders these fake people who don’t exist and totally didn’t kill Osama

And to show “Obama murdering Seal Team 6” isn’t just a lone nut, these are but a small sample of posts:

And we’ll dance a jig until next conspiracy! Huzzah!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - August 8, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Categories: #conspiracytheories, #freerepublic, #wingnutweb   Tags: , , , , ,

The Statue of Liberty is UnAmerican!

Yes, Right Wing Nuts are actually saying this! Oklahoma City-based pastor John Benefiel, the head of the Heartland Apostlic Prayer Network and friend of Texas governor Rick Perry (who is also going to Perry’s big Day of Prayer event)

Libertas is also called the Freedom Goddess, Lady Freedom, the Goddess of Liberty. You know there’s a statue in New York harbor called the Statue of Liberty. You know where we got it from? French Free Masons. Listen folks that is an idol, a demonic idol, right there in New York harbor. People say, ‘well no it’s patriotic.’ What makes it patriotic? Why is it? It’s a statue of a false goddess, the Queen of Heaven. We don’t get liberty from a false goddess folks, we get our liberty from Jesus Christ.

Source: RightWingWatch via MotherJones

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 14, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Categories: #conspiracytheories, #culturewar   Tags: , , , ,

The Gabrielle Giffords shooting was all a giant conspiracy!

Did you know the shooting of Rep Gabrielle Giffords and others was all a fake government conspiracy done by actors? Because according to some nutballs, it is. And the supporters are now harassing survivors of the attack!

Such obviously fantastic claims would usually not merit the attention of law enforcement, but they have in this instance because some believers have been confronting, and alarming, some of the people associated with the case in recent weeks.

Manuel J. Johnson, a spokesman for the F.B.I., said the bureau was aware of the site, but he declined to say whether an investigation was under way. One shooting victim said he notified the F.B.I. recently after two men showed up at his Tucson home claiming to be investigators and saying they were trying to determine whether the shooting was a hoax.

“They tried to get into my home,” said the victim, who asked that he not be identified because it might attract more such visitors. “They wanted to know if I had any pictures. They said they didn’t believe the event took place.”

The victim said that when he pressed the visitors for identification, one of them presented a business card that listed the Texas conspiracy site, which describes the shooting as an exercise conducted by the Department of Homeland Security. Other people connected to the case, including hospital personnel, victims’ relatives and possible trial witnesses, have received similar visits or seen their images on the Web site, officials said.

The site, which solicits donations from visitors to help with its “investigation,” shows pictures of people who appeared on television after the shooting — including the suspect, Jared L. Loughner — and claims they resemble photographs of Tucson-area actors found on the Internet.

“We are only trying to uncover the truth and give the information to the Citizens,” the site says. “We would love nothing more than to debunk our own theory.”

Ed Chiarini, who runs the site, identifies himself as an inventor and Web entrepreneur. He could not be reached for comment.

Ed Chiarini is this guy

And here is an example story

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 25, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Categories: #conspiracytheories, #culturewar   Tags: , , , ,

Wingnut Web – Osama Was Already Dead Edition

As news of Osama bin Laden’s death reached the world, all of Twitter became a long-running late night talk show monologue as we waited for Obama’s speech officially announcing it. But there are those with no sense of humor, no jaded sarcasm as the world changes around them. They are bitter, they are crazy, and they know that Kenyan Muslim is pulling the wool over their eyes! We go now to Resisnet.com/PatriotActionNetwork…

First reply, also LOL at Obama’s real name being Tim

You raise a valid point with the naming of Tim Osman

Only nine layers? I’ll pass…

Read more…

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 2, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Categories: #conspiracytheories, #wingnutweb   Tags: , , , , ,

Obama releases Birth Certificate, Wingnuts unimpressed

Obama surrendered to the right once again and released his long-form birth certificate to try to quiet the insane birthers. Because Obama underestimates the insane racism of his opponents, this release matters 0.0000%, as no one ever will be convinced if they think he’s a foreign born Muslim commie Kenyan alien robot. Dissenters fall into two camps, one that is convinced this one is fake and is going to insane lengths to prove it, and the one that doesn’t care because they’re following an incorrect definition of “Natural born citizen.” Though this does make the Republicans look even more loony, so maybe this was a shrewd move.

A sample response:

Also, this has prompted death threats from at least one poster on PatriotActionNetwork.com (formerly Resistnet.com):

Despite their name change, we can always expect quality death threats against the president from Resistnet— I mean, PatriotActionNetwork!

more reactions below the fold.
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Categories: #conspiracytheories, #culturewar, #freerepublic, #resistnet, #snakeoil, #wingnutweb   Tags: , , , , ,

Obama’s brain was replaced with Malcolm X’s!

It’s true, just look at these scars!
Obama Scars
There can only be one explanation for this! No, not hair parting…BRAIN SURGERY SCARS!! And what was Barack Obama getting brain surgery on? Well, because he won’t let us dig deep into his private medical records, we can only assume that after Barack Obama was born, his brain was removed and replaced with the freshly killed brain of his secret father, Malcolm X, and now Malcolm X lives again as President of the United States of America!! It’s so crazy, it can only be true!

Obama Scars


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Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 13, 2011 at 3:16 pm

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Obama existed as a knee before anything else…

In a world where people are idiots, Obama’s entire life history has been fabricated with poorly photoshopped photos!

Or these people are too dumb to understand jpg compression artifacts..

No, Obama’s entire life history is FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!

Via MediaMatters:

Jack Cashill, author of the charmingly insane book Deconstructing Obama, claims to have unearthed yet another shocking bombshell about Barack Obama’s past. According to Cashill’s WorldNetDaily column this morning, this photo of young Barack Obama and his grandparents in New York is a forgery into which Obama has been photoshopped:

But that photo is a fake, here is the real photo!:
Obama photoshop forgery

As you can plainly see from that photo, the real photo is a fake and Obama was never there to take his picture…except for his KNEE!!! Where is the KNEE’s Birth Certificate? This conspiracy just got deeper!

This FreeRepublic.com thread proves the photo is fake because there was a tree there twenty years ago and isn’t there now! CONSPIRACY!! Where’s the BIRTH CERTIFICATE!?!?!?!

Here is a wonderful video about the conspiracy of conspiracies!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 11, 2011 at 1:10 pm

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Best video ever

But not for the reasons the guy who made it thinks!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 8, 2011 at 5:45 pm

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More conservative fan fiction

“Winston, come into the dining room, it’s time to eat,” Julia yelled to her husband. “In a minute, honey, it’s a tie score,” he answered. Actually Winston wasn’t very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington. Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of 2017, outlawing tackle football for its “unseemly violence” and the “bad example it sets for the rest of the world,” Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch wasn’t nearly as exciting.

Yet it wasn’t the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey. Even though it was the best type of Veggie Meat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce and mince-meat pie), it wasn’t anything like real turkey. And ever since the government officially changed the name of “Thanksgiving Day” to “A National Day of Atonement” in 2020 to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims’ historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster.

Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold. Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all thermostats-which were monitored and controlled by the electric company-be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter.

Still, it was good getting together with family, or at least most of the family. Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of live-saving medical treatment. He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort. “The RHC’s resources are limited,” explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. “Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled. I’m sorry for your loss.”

Ed couldn’t make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021 outlawed the use of the combustion engines-for everyone but government officials. The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn’t want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there.

Thankfully, Winston’s brother, John, and his wife were flying in. Winston made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion. No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added “inconvenience” was an “absolute necessity” in order to stay “one step ahead of the terrorists.” Winston’s own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via Anti-Profiling Act of 2022. That law made it a crime to single out any group or individual for “unequal scrutiny,” even when probable cause was involved. Thus, cavity searches at malls, train stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine. Almost.

The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law intact. “A living Constitution is extremely flexible,” said the Court’s eldest member, Elena Kagan. “Europe has had laws like this one for years. We should learn from their example,” she added.

Winston’s thoughts turned to his own children. He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him. Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner. Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got over it.

His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism or any of a number of other calamities were “just around the corner,” but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility. It didn’t help that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of 2018, which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being. Winston paid the $5000 fine, which might have been considered excessive before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE13. The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated was, once again, to “spur economic growth.” This time they promised to push unemployment below its years-long rate of 18%, but Winston was not particularly hopeful.

Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before remembering it was a Day of Atonement. At least he had his memories. He felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make life “fair for everyone” realized their full potential. Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change when they didn’t happen all at once, but little by little,
so people could get used to them.

He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around 2011, when all the real nonsense began. “Maybe we wouldn’t be where we are today if we’d just said ‘enough is enough’ when we had the chance,” he thought. Maybe so, Winston.
Maybe so.

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 18, 2011 at 2:34 pm

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US doomed due to Russian/Chinese Dream Sneak Attacks!

Looks like America is doomed again!

I recently read more than 10 stories of folk having “visions” given to them by God about Russia and China attacking the U.S. In one of the visions, Russia was able to attack the U.S. UNDETECTED by simply entering Canada from the Beaufort Sea through the Northwest territories Saskatchewan and attacked Minnesota while China took cues and attacked the state of California.

I don’t have proof but the only way I could see the U.S. getting attacked and caught off guard YET AGAIN was through the DADT repeal. Other armies of the world allow homosexuals to serve but yet they were never the most powerful because everyone is too busy in their own affairs to actually do their jobs. We were because we were always focused on the job at hand and not sexuality or relationships. That’s what made us the most powerful. I have a feeling like Russia and China are going to be able to catch us off guard and attack us because of this repeal. No one is going to be paying attention anymore. Gays will be paying attention to whether someone says a gay slur or not and how they will sue them. And Hetereos will be looking at what gay person is trying to get with them. Everyone is going to be caught up in things not pertaining to the actual job and this will give other countries free reign to test us and how far they can get through. That missle that flew through Southern California a few weeks ago, I suspect is from China testing the western borders of the U.S. to see if we were paying attention and can get their missles in undetected through radar. And it was quite the success because no one still knows where it came from. Mission accomplished. We were too busy focusing on gays getting married and DATD that they managed to pull that stunt with easy effort.

This nation has turned it’s back on God and that’s why he will allow them to attack. God said a nation from the north (Russia) and a nation from the east (the 200 million man army China) will attack this country and he will let them because of the sins and unrepentant hearts of this people. That is why so many natural disasters are happening as well. It doesn’t matter if you believe or don’t believe, Jesus the son of God is returning soon and all these disasters you see happening are the birth pains to come before he does. And they will only get worse.

Believe it when I say, when some stare or famous city like Las Vegas, Los Angeles, or New York has a major earthquake destruction, volcanoe, or flood, that’s when the enemy nations will attack. When our biggest cities that bring in the most money and tourism are destroyed and we are weak, they will pounce. You heard it hear first. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. All you have to do to be saved is believe in your heart Jesus is the son of God and that he died on the cross for your sins. Also ask for forgiveness for those sins. And you will be saved no matter if you die. This nation has many judgments coming upon it and God has not forgotten one thing from it’s history.

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 10, 2011 at 2:07 pm

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